In this supportive and compassionate book, Lucille shares her personal knowing of what it means to become a widow after 65. What helps and what does not, in coming to terms with a life forever transformed and yet still changing? How do you live with the sorrows and fears that never seem to end? And is it possible to once again, at this time of life, create the depth of loving connection you may still crave? This is the elder widow’s walk- a journey of heart, soul, courage and renewal into the unknown territory of a woman’s spousal bereavement in her later years. PREFACE March 18, 2015, 4:10 AM The hospice cot is lumpy and uncomfortable. I am restless and exhausted. Just as it seems sleep might come, I hear it. My husband’s rasping, gasping breath. Deep breaths that come erratically and then vanish along with his long-term struggle for life. I jolt out of bed, rush to his bedside a few feet away and ring for the nurse. Holding his hand I am aware that he looks so peaceful, quiet and rested, as if he will soon awake refreshed, smile at me and say my name. I know it is the end and yet my need for him has not diminished and still feeds my delusion. The kindly nurse arrives, takes his pulse and tells me, yes, it is only a matter of minutes now. I lie down next to him, holding his lightened, wasted body in my arms, and weeping softly repeat: “Marty, oh Marty, it’s alright. It’s over. The pain is over. I am here. No more suffering. I love you, I am with you. I love you…” One last breath. I feel the stillness in his body. My beloved husband of 47 years is gone. Two months earlier I had turned seventy. And now I belonged to an all too numerous population of women: elder widows. My husband’s prolonged passage of deep suffering and misery was over. Mine had barely begun. Continue Reading … “Reading Lucille’s book is like being with a dear and wise friend who has traveled this lonely, painful path and can hold the space for us to feel our grief knowing we are not crazy. Lucille has a capacity to share her experience in a way that empowers the reader. With wisdom realized from her deep encounter with her own grief and loss, her brilliant honesty,and her generous sharing of practices that helped her, we discover grief as a passage to birthing a new self.” ARLINE SATURDAYBORN, teacher, Mindfulness and Compassion “If you are a newly bereaved woman and your question is “how am I going to go on?”, this is the book to read; truthful openhearted, and practical.” Kristine Watson, LCPC, Grief Counselor “This precious, raw and hopeful book offers a window into the heart, mind and body of an older woman who has survived her Beloved husband. She is an elder widow and ageing is an integral part of her grieving process. Meltz also interweaves appalling statistics and research findings that speak to the isolation and financial challenges that “ widows of a certain age” face. As a result of her own immersion in grief, she offers ideas and tools that empowered her to begin to reclaim her life. This small book is a heart touchstone for elder women widows. It is also for family and friends who wish to support elder widows through grief and welcome them to their new life, when the time is right.” Rosalie Deer Heart, author of Healing Grief—A Mother’s Story and Living Future Pull