As I write this, 18 months later, the intense journey of profound loss, extreme isolation, interminable fears and anxieties, heartbreak and soul-searching continues, although its ebbs and tides weaken. What comes now, little by little, more and more, are the gentle promises and beginnings of growth, renewal and fresh life perspectives.

            It is not, however, only the essence of my elder widow’s story that I offer to all my sisters, all the widows of advancing years who know their lives are forever transformed and yet still changing, who intuitively understand that their loss is unique because of their age, but who feel lost and alone in a world that devalues the pain of that loss because of their age. To all the elder widows who resonate with my journey, I also offer acknowledgement of what you have endured and continue to endure. I offer compassion for your extraordinary struggles too often forgotten by those around you.  And I invite you to consider some of the spiritual and emotional practices that have kept me from plunging into total breakdown.

            To all widows 65 and beyond still held in the grips of life’s most heart-stabbing experience, I write this to affirm that you too can survive, and to help you find, through your own unparalleled loss, the exceptional gift of spiritual strength, inner power and the true uplifting wisdom of the elder widow.

CHAPTER ONE: AN ELDER WIDOW’S REALITY CHALLENGE

            If you are a widow age 65 or more, you are not alone. But it certainly may feel as if you are.

            In the United States, almost half of all women over 65 are widows—more than eleven million women. There are five times as many widows as widowers among the elderly. If any other social or personal tragedy involved or affected such a phenomenal number of people, surely there would be mega-media coverage, extensive support networks, widespread government grants and programs and promotion of universal awareness of the complicated issues involved.

            However, since becoming a widow at age 70, despite having earnestly sought to find understanding and support in the greater world beyond family and friends, I have only uncovered a few sparse articles, blogs and selected parts of books on aging that addressed at all the  unique concerns of the elder widow.